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I repressed it as hard as I could and refused to even admit it was there.

Small wonder that a relationship that lasted barely six months took me to recover from and left some unpleasant scars to go with it.

Hell, the character destroying her ex’s car for revenge in “Before He Cheats” sounds awesome – it’s also the work of a .

All it does is make you look like someone who can’t get over a bad breakup and now you’re throwing a tantrum like a child who didn’t get a cookie. There are some seriously wangsty Live Journal posts in my distant past that I’m not proud of.) One thing that helps is to recontextualize the pain. Part of what helps process the pain of a break-up is channeling that pain, anger and frustration into something else. these can all be used to supercharge other aspects of your life.

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Usually what they want is, ultimately, vindication.

There’s a part of you that, irrationally, hopes that if you can just make the pain go away, then the triggering event will have never occurred and you’ll magically go back to being the person you were that morning/yesterday/last week/whatever. All that numbing yourself is doing is ensuring that you’re going to tear the bandage off painful in the long-run. Another common mistake is to try to repress that come with a breakup in a mistaken desire to “be a grown-up” or “be mature” about it.

This, in fact, was a mistake I made after the break-up that set me on the path to who I am today.

Other people get stoned, while still others try to find solace in comfort food and eat their emotions.

Some throw themselves into mindless sex, others hole themselves away from the world. but trying to force yourself not to feel only makes things worse. You just got your heart ripped out and a relationship has come to an end. Trying to hide from the reality of the break-up only prolongs the pain because ultimately you’re trying to pretend that it didn’t happen. Feel it, mourn what was lost and you’ll reach the other side – acceptance – that much faster.

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