Dating an abstinent
A good habit to learn—but is abstinence the best way to understand God’s plan for marriage and the gift of our sexuality? In fact, many people tune out when they hear “abstinence” because it means, in essence “say no to sex.” The term also doesn’t help us to understand what are appropriate boundaries, short of the act of intercourse. Chastity is freedom from sexual impurities, not necessarily freedom from sexual activity.Technically, one could be very promiscuous, involved in many sexual behaviors, and still remain abstinent. We know that God created sex, and everything God created is very good.
Chastity, however, is the most all-inclusive, positive way to view our sexuality.
Within the boundaries of chastity, one can be sexually active.
Chastity is the virtue of understanding and respecting sex to such a great degree that one keeps it in the appropriate time and place (marriage).
And so after a particularly hurtful and unfulfilling relationship, I decided to address the deeper intimacy needs I'd been trying to meet through sex.
While I didn't initially decide to abstain from sex for the year, my one rule was to radically love myself and to not engage until I was really ready.