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Michael Lucas: I always went for people who would not have an issue with it. They were older people and there was no point in telling them.
But other than that, everybody knows, and everyone is fine.
Most performers are tested twice a month and know their status, tend to be familiar with using barriers, and know how to communicate boundaries. It's like, "Would you ask that to someone you met at the store or coffee shop? So why is it okay to ask me that just because I do porn? Even before we bring the layers of natural human jealousy and insecurity, the cultural structures of monogamy as default, and masculinity being threatened by the idea of "sharing your woman" or whatever, how are you supposed to have a relationship when you live in, say, Philadelphia or New York, and once a month you go out to Los Angeles for four days to two weeks to film, and then you’re getting shipped to to Berlin and Australia and Alaska and Texas and just ping ponging all over the place?I probably did a very poor job of maintaining the balance and letting people know, "Hey, I like you, I just can’t commit to being around regularly and stuff." I probably bruised some hearts, which I feel bad about, possibly damaged some egos.I've only dated one person in the industry, and he was actually more of a jealous person than you'd expect. We saw it as a way to see more Grateful Dead concerts by doing something we loved to do anyway. I don’t show up in stilettos and a bikini and act like a whore. Going to the pool, I feel like I always have the most conservative bikini on. But I really only know one couple that has lasted through the years.Stoya: When I was like 17, 18, 19, I just wasn’t interested in cultivating long term romantic relationships. Joanna Angel: My current boyfriend had a couple of friends who felt strange about it, or who tried to convince him he was doing something wrong. I don’t have plastic surgery, I don’t like walk out and scream porn star the way other people do. I tried [dating another porn actor] and it’s a terrible idea. Stoya: I had, I guess you could call them boyfriends, and I had people who I would have sex with that were also friends, but it was always like, "This isn’t permanent, you’re not my priority." I was young, and awkward, and kind of a bitch, and very blunt at times.