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Shuyookh with large social media following often bring up the topic on their timelines.
“We are modeling for our community the lack of marriages, single families and broken homes, that good practicing sisters may never get married.
“Young adults have increasingly come to see marriage as a ‘capstone’ rather than a ‘cornerstone,'” say the researchers at the Brookings Institute.
“That is, something they do after they have all their other ducks in a row, rather than a foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.” Surveys conducted by Al Maghrib Institute of its student body found that the main reasons that its students were delaying marriage were parents, finances, education, fear of rejection and commitment for men and fear of control and intimidation for women. In the meanwhile, women wait for proposals and decide to pursue further education while they are waiting.
This is very damaging to the psyche of the sisters in the community.
“‘Oh my God, she wants to be married, she is so desperate – astagfirullah…’ this popular statement comes mostly from married females when a single Muslimah shares with her that she wants to be married!! it’s like, as a community, we don’t have each other’s back anymore,” laments Naeema*.
Adherence to cultural norms and expectations, generational disparity and the neglect of the Islamic standard for the choice of partners are also hurdles single American Muslims face.
According to the New York Times, in 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men had, by the time they reached 30, passed all five [what sociologists term as] milestones of adulthood: completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child.
Another phenomenon faced by several ethnic communities is that many educated men marry outside of their community, race and religion.
They are not as bound by the ticking biological clock factor and can usually (not always) find a wife when they get serious about marriage.
“I know sisters who have started dating because they cannot take being single anymore,” said Sr.
Denise*, a divorced mother of two boys from College Park, MD, attending the ISWA matrimonial brunch.