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At some point, I started seeing a hazy white light off in my upper left field of vision.
I was still conscious enough to know what this meant and that it probably wasn”t good, but it wasn”t scary, in fact, it was quite tempting and I considered for a moment how nice that option could be for me.
When the tests were through, Mom and I tried to relax in the hotel, update friend-folk and kin-folk on the disappointing news, then put it out of our minds.
I forget if it was Saturday or Sunday that I woke up with high ostomy output, decided I could online casino keep myself hydrated, had a little breakfast, then started vomiting.
No doubt about it, there was a fistula, specifically, a sinus cavity in the anterior of the pouch (that”s towards my lady parts for all you layfolk). I”ve had too much gnarly shit happen for surprise at this point. That”s the safety valve in my psyche opening up so I don”t go running head-first into ongoing traffic.
I get quiet because the processor is trying to wake up and do its job, but really, what is there to do other than head up to my next appointment with the bad news and put the burden on the doctor”s plate, not mine?
Oh right, I have to tell my amazing, supportive, been through hell-and-back mother that once again, something is wrong with her baby.
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I was planning to write an update much, much later, as an attempt to wallow in denial and preserve sanity, but since it”s been about 8 months already and I”m laid up and bored out of my mind, I figure now”s as good a time as any to tackle this.